this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
