awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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