sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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