The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
