Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
