Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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