ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
