god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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