i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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