remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
