I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
