I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
