Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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