tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
