Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
