dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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