Having a random hookup so left but love u
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
