ugly people sure do ruin things
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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