My brain says no but my pants say off.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
