Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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