margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
When are your genitals available?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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