I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
