My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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