i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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