Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
