I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Let's get the cat blown out
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
