in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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