I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
