Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
