my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
