I'm so fucking centered right now
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
