I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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