He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
