I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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