Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
