Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
