dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
