apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
And then my night got REAL pukey
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
