thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
