I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
