I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
