I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
