I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
