Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
