Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I would fuck him just for his dog
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
