hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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