maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
