you traded sex for a burrito?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
