didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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