he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
